Truth and Longing
by FlyingFan
Summary: Flack is in love, but can't admit the truth. Fate has a way of stepping in. Flack and Stella
1. Chapter 1

This is my very first attempt at fan fiction, so be kind. I was inspired by all of your creativity and time that you guys have put into your work and thought I would give it a go.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from CSI: NY. Wouldn't that be nice though?

* * *

Danny leaned over his shot at the pool table, taking some extra time to prepare. Flack couldn't take it anymore.

"Hey, Messer, you gonna shoot sometime today? Or are you gonna nurse that shot like you're nursing that beer?"

Danny smirked to himself, and then proceeded to sink the nine ball in the corner pocket. And in the same moment turned up his glass and polished off his beer.

"Man, Flack you are in quite a mood tonight. In fact you've been like this the last few weeks. What has got you all worked up? We closed the Warren case this morning; shouldn't you be a little bit happy?"

Flack just shook his head and tried to loosen up as his friend had implied knowing Danny was right. The Warren case had been a brutal double murder and he was extremely happy that sick bastard was locked up with a heap of evidence to back up the DA when the case went to trial, but Flack just couldn't shake the funk he had been in for the last few months, let alone weeks.

"You know what will make me happy? Food. Let's grab a table and get something to eat, not to mention another round on me since you just clobbered me in 9 ball. I swear you've been spending too much time playing that game. Pretty soon I'm going to have to start practicing so I don't have to buy you so many beers. You're killing my wallet, man."

"We've always known I was the master, now we just have proof," Danny boasted.

Twenty minutes later they were tucked in to a booth enjoying some cold beers and cheeseburgers when Danny tried to broach the subject of Flack's fowl mood again.

"Seriously Flack, what has been going on with you. Every time I see you look like a 3 year old who just had his lollypop stolen. You've got a permanent sourpuss on."

Flack processed the question carefully knowing he wasn't going to get away without answering it in some fashion. The debate for him was did he answer it truthfully, or pawn his bad attitude off on to his heavy case load and lack of a vacation in the last 2 years. Heck, he was sure either one of those prospects was certainly a contributing factor to his current situation, but he knew the real reason.

With a sigh he decided to go with the truth. He could trust Danny. He was his best friend. But before the words could even form in his mouth Danny spoke. "Let me guess. It's to do with a woman."

Flack choked on the sip of beer he was attempting to take. Not because to an outsider the comment would seem totally out of left field, but because it was dead on. He wanted to respond with a clever comeback, but instead just resigned to the fact that his friend did really know him too well.

"Where did that come from?" was Flack's week reply.

"Do you think I'm blind? I know a broken man when I see one, and nothing breaks a man harder than a woman." Danny knew this all too well, and thoughts of the mistakes he made with Lindsay flooded his brain for a passing moment. "You haven't been on any dates that I know of for the past few months, so I'm at a bit of a loss as to who this lady might be. But I give her credit because whether she knows it or not, she has put you into a state!"

"She doesn't know it, and I doubt she ever will." Flack replied defeated, putting his burger down, picking up his beer and staring into the amber liquid. "She is way out of my league and I seriously doubt she has ever thought of me as anything more than a friend from work."

In that second, he knew that he had crossed the line. Said too much. The truth was going to come out whether he wanted it to or not. He knew his friend wouldn't let that last comment slip past him, nor would Danny allow it to go unexplained.

"Someone you work with, hmmm. That I certainly didn't see coming." Danny looked up and smiled knowing Flack hadn't meant to reveal _that_ much information. "Of course that is all you have done for the last six months, is work. You've been working as much as Stella, and that is saying a lot."

At the mention of her name Flack froze hoping Danny wouldn't make the connection. Who was he kidding the guy was a CSI and was paid to put evidence like this together. Maybe he would be lucky and the beers they had been consuming would blur his thought process.

"Wait a minute…" Danny mused.

Beer hadn't worked.

"You have been working a lot of cases with her lately…, man I should have seen this coming!" Danny couldn't believe he hadn't caught on sooner. Realizing in that moment that for the last few months he'd been quite consumed with his own life since Ruben had been shot, and knowing he had managed to ruin his relationship with Lindsay, but not realizing that he'd been blind to his friend's situation too. "How long man?"

Flack wanted to deny everything, but he was tired of kidding himself, and almost looked forward to unburdening himself of his feelings. "If I'm honest with you, heck, if I'm honest with myself, I've been mad for that woman for years. These last couple of months I finally admitted it to myself. I've tried to work through it. I've tried to get past it, but every time I look at her…"

Danny interrupted, "You thought about telling her?"

"No," Flack responded quickly. "She'd never…she wouldn't…I just can't."

"What do you mean you can't? This I can't believe. Mister Casanova of the NYPD can't tell a girl a he likes her?" Danny laughed.

"That is the problem. She's not a girl. She is this amazing woman who would never look at a guy like me and think twice. She's exotic and complicated and what would she ever see in me?"

"Well, if I was a woman and I saw you in this sad pathetic state, I wouldn't see much in you either." Danny said half joking and half just to put a smile on his friend's face. He could see Flack was really twisted up. "Listen man, I'm just saying there is no reason not to try. You'll never know if you don't."

Flack knew Danny was right, but he had been over and over this in his head and just couldn't get the nerve to tell Stella he liked her. _Liked her_. Who was he kidding? He was in love with the woman and she barely knew he existed.

Danny let the subject go for the time being, but as they parted ways outside the bar he gave it one last push. "Just think about it. Crazier things have happened."

Flack nodded and said goodbye to his friend.

* * *

Think about it. That is all Flack did. That is all he had done for he last few months when he wasn't involved in a case. That was why have had spent so much time working. The problem with working was, she was hard to avoid when he _was_ working. If he was at home, all he could do was think about her, and when he was at work she seemed to be around every corner.

Years ago he acknowledged that he had a crush on Stella Bonasera. What was not to like? She was a beautiful Greek goddess with striking green eyes that could pierce you right down to your soul. She was a legend in the department and the young guys lined up to work her crime scenes just to get a chance to ogle her.

Of course if she ever knew that she would personally kick their combined asses, but that was part of Stella's appeal. She was as tough as she was beautiful. It didn't take Flack long to figure this out. The first homicide he'd worked with her once he became a detective was all it took. They had little evidence to go on, but they'd worked relentlessly to pull the case together and when it came time to arrest the killer she was the first one in the door.

They'd worked together many, many times over the years, and Flack had grown to really respect Stella. She was passionate about her work and was exceptionally good at it. She worked way too hard and way too many hours. All of which worried Flack and had for quite sometime. Like everyone else in the lab he'd tried several times to get her to take some time off. It was like talking to a wall. Her work was her life and the lab was her family. And everyone close to her knew that her luck with men over the last couple of years was extremely bad, life threatening even, so that was no encouragement for her to make time for a social life. So she worked. And worked. And worked some more.

And in these years that they had worked so closely together Flack found he looked forward to being paired with her on a case. No matter how grim the circumstances, no matter how gruesome the crime, Stella had a way of making him smile despite it all. She matched his sarcastic wit quip for quip and had so much sass and spunk about her that he couldn't help but smirk and shake his head whenever he thought about her.

Which he realized he did a lot. Think about her that is. Ever since that day in hospital when Frankie had attacked her and she was forced to shoot him to save her life, he'd thought about her more than normal. That day he'd been with her at her worst and yet all he saw was her best. Despite what she had just been through she was strong and determined. Determined to know the truth. Stella rarely let her guard down, but that day she had needed a friend and Flack was grateful to be next to her when she had to relive that horror she had just been through.

When Flack left her that night in Mac's care, something changed in him. Something changed in the way he looked at Stella. He realized that he never wanted to see her in that situation again. He never wanted to see her hurt again and he wanted to do whatever was necessary to keep her out of harm's way.

That was years ago now, and each day that ticked by just added to his agony. He loved this marvelous woman and didn't think he could ever tell her.

* * *

Let me know what you think...I've got lots more to come, suspense and action to join the plot...but if this is really bad I won't waste your time.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for all of the support. Sorry this chapter took so long. Hope you like it.

Disclaimer: Of course I do not own any of the characters of CSI: NY.

* * *

A few weeks had gone by now since their revealing dinner at the bar and Danny had been watching his friend pretty closely ever since. Hoping for a change in Flack's grumpy presence. Carefully waiting to see if he would make a move, show some expression of his inward feelings outwardly to Stella, but alas this was not the case.

Flack continued to fold inwardly into his thoughts, slightly pushing all of his friends away. Danny was pretty sure that Flack himself wasn't even aware of the wake he was leaving behind. He was just so consumed by his feelings. Danny had never seen is buddy quite this low.

Something had to done, or at least said. The man just bit Adam's head off for no reason except that a test result that normally takes two hours was going to take just that, two hours. Danny laughed to himself, but in no way let Flack know that he was amused. He simply told him in the hallway, after they were out of earshot, that he really needed to lighten up. Flack's response was a very slow deep inhale that he breathed out with great control. Not wanting to loose his temper with Danny (well, at least not in the hall of the lab) he just walked into the locker room hoping that Danny wouldn't follow.

Danny on the other hand wasn't going to let Flack get away without at least a little pep talk. So he walked in right behind him. Tough love sounded like as good a plan as any, knowing Flack would more than likely be ready to bite right back, he thought at least he could go on the offensive.

"What the hell, Flack. You trying to make everyone hate you. Cause you are coming real close. Adam won't be able to look you straight in the face for months after that riot act you just read him."

"Like I care," Flack shot back with a cold look in his eyes.

Danny couldn't believe it. "Well, you better start to care. Jackasses don't go over well around here. Jesus Flack, get it together."

Flack knew Danny was right. He knew that he had been a complete ass to everyone that he had encountered in the last two weeks. He thought talking to Danny about Stella might have lessened some of his uneasiness; instead it seems to fuel a fire in his brain that he was unable to control. Every time he looked at her or even thought about her his mind would race. Why was this woman, this pipe-dream fantasy of them together that he created in his mind, able to so consume him.

Danny could see the wheels turning in Flacks mind, and he could also see that he had dropped his guard a bit. In a normal tone of voice Danny continued, "Flack, you've got to do something about this Stella thing, at this rate it is going to eat you alive. Why can't you just ask her out already? What is your hold up?"

Flack slumped down onto an empty bench. "That is half the problem Danny; I don't know why I can't. I run it over and over in my head, and every thing combined leads me to this place of utter fear. We work together, she's out of my league, she'll think I'm too young…"

Danny kept quiet waiting for the _real_ truth to come.

"…she is a friend. A really good friend and when I weigh telling her and having her reject me or worse starting something and having it go so wrong that she wants out of my life completely…I just can't live with that Danny. I can't live with the thought that she might not be in my life one day. I don't think I can risk it."

Danny could see the true torture in his friend's eyes. Longing for something so badly, but thinking it was completely out of reach was a familiar feeling for Danny and he knew the pain Flack was in.

"Flack, you just can't think so negatively, man. You sell yourself short. This could be the best thing you ever do for yourself. So what if you ask her out and she says no. Yeah, it might be weird for a few days, but I know she cares enough for you that she wouldn't let that hurt your friendship. And as for the alternative, if she says yes and you do start dating, plain and simple, just don't screw it up."

* * *

Stella was sitting in her office and she had witnessed a most interesting exchange between Adam and Flack. Flack's arms were failing a bit and mild mannered Adam looked like he wanted to crawl under his desk. What in the world was going on? She realized a few days ago that Flack had been exceptionally cranky, but this seemed to cross the line. She knew he meant no harm, but she couldn't have him bullying her people, unless of course it was for good reason.

She set out to go speak with him, but by the time she made it into the hall she just saw the door to the locker room closing. She walked over to the door and she had a few minutes to spare. She would just wait for Flack. As she got closer to the door though, she heard raised voices. Was that Danny yelling at Flack? What was going on in there?

As she cracked the door to go in, she began to listen. She couldn't hear every word because the yelling had stopped, but she got the general meaning. "Ask her out…I can't we work together…really good friend…I can't live with that Danny…" She never caught a name, but soon realized that she was listening to a very private conversation and quietly backed out of the locker room.

Well no wonder he has been so insufferable. Poor Flack, he sounds like he is in love with someone he can't have. She'd save her speech about the bullying for later, but she would still have to talk to him about his attitude towards the lab techs. Broken hearted or not, he needed to be nicer.

Back at her desk Stella tried to continue with the paper work she had just been pulled away from, but she was finding it exceedingly difficult to concentrate. She kept replaying what she had heard over and over again in her head. Flack liked someone he worked with, but couldn't act on it. Who could it be? Certainly not Lindsay, even though she knew that Lindsay and Danny weren't together right now, Flack would never go after is best friend's ex. Plus Danny certainly wouldn't be standing there giving him advice about it. More like he would be beating the crap out of him. It must be someone in the precinct, because the lab techs just seem like his cup of tea.

Maybe Angell? She was certainly pretty enough and she and Flack always seemed to be flirting…seems like a good fit…who else could it be?

Stella broke her train of thought and tried to get back to the mound of paper in front of her. Minutes later her mind was back on Flack. Angell was great, but Stella thought Flack could do better. What was she thinking, Angell is great why would she…why is she thinking about this at all! She had lots of work to do, but she couldn't seem to stop herself.

Flack had been her friend for years now and she had always kept a very distant eye on his romantic life. It wasn't very hard to do really, he had a reputation as a bit of a playboy, but Stella new that he talked a good game and that was about it. He could have most any woman he wanted, he was after all an extremely good looking guy, but he was married to the job. He dated a few girls here and there, but none of them seemed to last. It was hard for an outsider to understand our line of work. The late hours, and the early morning crime scenes, they never seemed to go over very well. Plus, she always thought Flack was picking girls too far below his intelligence level. Sure they might be nice to look at, but conversation between them had to be pretty taxing.

She supposed everyone had needs, and she couldn't blame him. At least he had the nerve to date occasionally. Since the whole Frankie incident, Stella had yet to even truly entertain the idea of getting involved with someone else. (Good thing too, Drew Bedford certainly wasn't a good place to start.) Maybe Flack had the right idea, an uncomplicated mate that wouldn't muddy the waters any further. Just being near someone to occasionally fill the empty void.

Later that night, alone in her apartment, sitting on the couch, sipping a glass of red, she found she was still thinking about Flack and his mystery crush. All the scenarios that ran through her head came back to Angell. Jenn was her friend and a very good cop, but when she pictured Jenn and Flack together something just didn't feel right. Not that they wouldn't make an adorable couple…Stella just wasn't at ease.

And when she would pull herself back to reality she would ask herself the same question that she had probably asked herself five times that day, "Why are you stilling thinking about Flack?" The young detective was one of the few people she considered part of her "family." Not having a real family growing up, her close friends had become her family. She loved him dearly, but as a friend…though as she thought of the desperation in his voice this afternoon, Stella couldn't help but wonder how nice it would be for someone to long for her that badly.

And not just anyone someone, but someone who was as kind and witty as Flack. Someone who protected his friends, fellow cops, and his city as fiercely as Don did. She also knew first hand how compassionate Flack could be. When she was in the hospital after Frankie attacked her, Flack barely left her side and patiently helped her relive that day. She had found comfort in his eyes and knew somehow that she could trust him with the truth. With him there beside her, she felt safe enough to remember the awful details. And that hug as they parted that night, so out of character for Flack, but honestly it was just what she needed. The kind gentle touch of a man that she trusted, it gave her strength.

As she drifted off to sleep later that night, she did so with thoughts of Don Flack filling her head…

* * *

I'm trying to set this up just right, so bare with me. :)


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of CSI:NY.

Thanks for all the feed back! It is truly appreciated.

* * *

Later that week, after the lab had closed a major double homicide case, everyone decided to meet up for drinks to unwind after the shift. Danny called Flack up and invited him out. There was a very long pause after Danny told him the plan.

"Don't tell me you're thinking about heading home. The Don Flack I know rarely passes up a chance for a cocktail after a long day." Danny smirked into the phone. Then the problem entered his mind. "And before you ask, yes, Stella is coming, but I am not taking no for an answer. Avoiding her is not the solution to your problem."

"If I avoid her then at least I don't have to feel like a complete idiot in her presence, I can feel like an idiot all by myself in the comfort of my own home."

"No man, your are not getting out of this. Just come out and hang. Heck you might even grow a pair and see a chance to ask the woman out."

Danny heard a grumble on the line and finally a very quiet "ok."

"Good see you at seven then. If you are not there, I swear I will tell her myself." Danny realized this would be the ultimate motivator.

"Alright already, I'll be there, I'll be there. Geez Messer."

* * *

Danny walked into Stella's office just as she was packing up. "You ready to go Stell?"

"Just now Danny. You get in touch with Flack?" She asked trying not to seem too obvious or too interested.

"Yeah, he is going to meet us there."

"Good!"

Danny tilted his head to the side and smiled just a tiny bit. Stella realized that maybe her "good" came off a bit too excited and did she smile while she said it? Oh, she had to fix this.

"I mean he just seems like he could use a drink and a night to relax that's all. He's been a little tense lately, don't you think?" Hoping she'd covered her eagerness with concern.

Of course Danny knowing the truth couldn't help but chuckle on the inside. "He has some, um, personal issues he is trying to work out, plus his case load. It all seems to be a bit more than he can handle at the moment. Though, I think it would go a long way if you showed your concern."

A bit startled at the remark she responded as best she could, "Sure, sure anything to help."

Danny wasn't positive, but something seemed different about Stella. She actually seemed nervous to talk to Flack. Could have been his imagination, but either way it gave him a bit of hope for his friend.

* * *

As the gang walked to the bar, Stella kept going over the conversation that she just had with Danny in her head. She had tried to play it cool, but ever since she overheard Danny and Flack talking in the locker room, Stella had found herself somewhat obsess with Flack. Her thoughts were just filled with him. The few times they had been in the same room together this week, she'd caught herself staring too long and completely unable to follow what the person right in front of her was saying. She had to pull herself together.

At night, she'd begun soul searching. Her current Flack-centric train of thought had rocked her world a little. This man that she had looked at as one of her dearest friends was suddenly evoking much stronger emotions. She really questioned why she hadn't thought of it all before. He was everything that she admired in a mate, but work seemed to have blinded her.

Though her revelation had excited her originally, she realized very quickly the many obstacles. They worked together a lot, he was several years younger than she, and the part where he was hopelessly in love with another woman was never far from her mind.

Stella also knew that in the recent past she had avoided emotions at all cost. Why was this so different? Why was she so willing to let herself feel things for this man that she hasn't felt in quite sometime or ever for that matter? It really all came down to Flack and who he was. He had proven over and over what a standup guy he was and if she couldn't trust her feelings about someone she knew so well, then she might as well give up. Surprisingly she _was_ letting herself get swept up in this fantasy. She knew this was good for her soul, to let herself feel like she hadn't in the past, but she worried that the "unrequited" part of this situation might get the better of her.

She just took a deep breath and tried her best to put up a good front.

They had finally arrived at the bar, and though Danny had spent the whole walk listening to Montana ramble on about the final interview with the guy they had collared for the double homicide, he couldn't help but watch Stella. For the entire six blocks they had walked she was completely lost in thought. While Mac and Hawkes were chatting candidly about some evidence, Stella walked beside them in silence. Though there most recent interchange was very interesting, Danny had also noticed Stella had been acting a strange all week.

First Flack and now Stella, but at least Stella wasn't acting like the jerk Don was. She simply would let her mind wander off, losing herself, which was fine accept when it happened in the middle of a crime scene or a department meeting. Nothing outwardly seemed wrong, Stella just seemed off her game.

And then there it was, just as they walked into main part of the bar, Danny heard a familiar voice call out to them and as he did, he looked up at Stella. She stood like a deer in headlights, unable to move, unable to speak. Danny then turned his head to double check the source of the shout and just as he had originally thought it was Flack calling them over to a table he'd saved. Danny then turned his attention back to Stella. She still hadn't budged. For a moment she was lost, but just as quickly she popped out of the trance and noticed that Danny was staring. She immediately began to blush, but tried to play it off and walked up to the table to get herself settled.

Could it be thought Danny. Was he seeing this correctly? Could Flack really be the source of Stella's absentmindedness all week? He smiled like a Cheshire cat and thought to himself, how lucky his friend might be if that was really the case. And if it was, he really needed to make sure Flack found the courage to ask her out. He needed to strike while the iron was hot.

For the early part of the evening Flack and Stella stayed away from one another. Flack however found himself watching her whenever she wasn't looking. She was just so mesmerizing. Stella tried her best not to focus on him, but noticed she spent more time listening to his conversations than to the ones she was actually involved in.

A few drinks later, tensioned seemed to have eased and Danny noticed that Flack actually seemed pleasant. He actually beamed with prided at one point when Flack returned from the bar with a round of drinks and re-sat himself in the open seat beside Stella. Maybe there was hope for him yet.

For the duration of the night Flack and Stella talked easily and openly about most anything that came to mind. One by one the crowd fell away. Some had to work early tomorrow and others were simply too tired from the double shifts they had just pulled. But Flack and Stella stayed.

Flack couldn't believe how good it felt just to sit and talk. He really had missed Stella over the last few months. As much as he had thought about her, it was no replacement for actually being with her. He made a decision then and there that no matter what his feelings for her, he would never try avoiding her again. It just wasn't worth it. He felt like himself with her and lately that was pretty hard to come by.

At one point after everyone else had bailed, Stella thought it might be a good time to talk with him about recent events.

"I'm glad to see you back to your old self tonight. I'm not sure what's been going on with you, Danny said you had some things to deal with, but I wanted you to know that you can always come to me." Stella then reached over and put her hand on his arm. The warmth of her touch calming him. "I know we have seen much of each other lately, but you are my friend Don, and if you need to talk, I'm here."

Flack stared into her beautiful green eyes and smiled. "Thanks Stell, you have no idea how much that means to me. And I am really sorry for my attitude lately. I've just had a lot on my mind, but tonight has reminded me that I really shouldn't let that effect my friendships. And talking to you tonight, just made me realize how much I enjoy being around…well…you quite frankly."

Flack held his breath for a moment. He wasn't quite sure how well his last comment would go over, but it was his very passive aggressive attempt at testing the waters. Maybe he had the courage to do this, but it would have to be one step at a time.

Stella's stomach on the other hand, fluttered with excitement. Did he mean that they way she thought he did, or was that her imagination? She didn't know what to think…

"I think then, we should do this more often, you and me talking that is." Stella said with what Don thought was the sweetest smile he had ever seen.

"We should, we certainly should," Flack then let himself breath just a little.

Being the protective gentleman that he was, Don walked Stella home that night around midnight. She of course persisted saying she would be fine, but Flack wouldn't take no for an answer. Very quickly she realized that insisting wasn't going to work and what was wrong with the man of her current dreams walking her home?

Somewhere in the course of the evening, when it was just he and Stella, Flack resolved that Danny was right. No matter what the outcome, Stella was always going to be worth the risk.

Stella had some of the very same thoughts run through her head as well that night. As they strolled up to the stoop of her apartment building she made a promise with herself. Once the time was right she would let Flack know about her feelings. She owed herself that. Not tonight but soon.

Once actually at their destination, a moment of awkwardness fell over the pair. Flack trying to muster up some courage, Stella trying to keep her emotions in check, neither knowing what to say. Just as Flack began to open his mouth Stella spoke.

"Thank you for walking me home, Don. Though completely unnecessary," she said with a grin, "I appreciate it."

Flack laughed and blushed a bit when he heard her use his first name, realizing how much he like hearing her say it. "I just wouldn't hear the end of it at work if you had to beat up some poor mugger on your way home. At least this way, you let me think I was protecting you."

They both laugh.

"I'm really glad you came tonight and it is really nice to hear you laugh again. Plus I've missed that smile of yours."

"It is easy to smile with you around, Stell."

"Goodnight Flack. See you tomorrow."

She leaned in and barely brushed her lips against his cheek. A chill ran down his spine and before he could recover she was up the steps and inside her building.

"'Night Stella."

* * *

Hope this will tide you over for a while. Next chapter might not be until next tuesday...


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not, nor never will own any of the characters of CSI:NY. Unfair, I know.

Thanks for reading and let me know what you like. I have big plans for future chapters.

* * *

Stella and Flack kept their word to one another and over the next few weeks they casually invited one another out for coffee and drinks every few days. With each outing the pressure eased and instead of building up confidence to walk into Stella's office or into the squad room to make their invitations, it just became what they did. Both somewhat currently content just to be able to be in each other's presence.

Flack was completely in awe of how easy it was for him to talk to Stella. She seemed to know just what say, when to push for more information, and when to let him just let him ramble. Stella loved listening to Flack and was also amazed how well he listened in return. She could mention the smallest detail of her day ahead and later he would kindly ask her how it went. And very quickly she realized she never needed to shield her words with Flack. She could be completely honest with him which in turn helped her be honest with herself.

In each of there meetings Flack just soaked in every bit of Stella he could. He wanted to know everything about her and it didn't take much to realize there was a lot to learn. Her childhood growing up in the system, which Flack knew she never really liked to speak of, became one of their many topics of conversation. As tough as his Dad had been on Flack growing up, he could only imagine that not having parents around must have been ten times worse and still Stella came out the other side this amazing woman.

Stella had always seen that being in Flack, Sr.'s shadow wasn't Don favorite place to be, but until now she had never really known why. She had always assumed, like she did with most people that grew up with a family, that life at home couldn't have been that rough. And though Don would never come right out and say it, she gathered that Flack, Sr. wasn't the warmest of father figures and him and Don's relationship wasn't on the best of terms. She could see the hurt in Don's eyes when he talked about his dad. A man that was supposed to be Don's hero seemed more like a villain. She couldn't be quite sure Don's situation was the same, but she had heard stories of other cops that couldn't leave the job at the office, that their anger and attitude carried over into their homes and those stories never fared well for the family waiting there. One thing she did know was that Flack would never be that man. She'd seen him with his kids from the Y and knew without a doubt that he would be an excellent father.

And though past relationships were discussed their current love lives never came up. Each fearing that they didn't want to know the truth if there was someone else in the other's life. Danny and Flack's conversation in the locker room was never far from Stella's mind. And just when she was blissfully happy being in Flack's life she would remind herself that his heart currently belonged to someone else. She would tell herself, "He is sees me as a really good friend and that is all. That is what I have to deal with." Of course she wished and hoped for more, much more in her heart, but she tried to keep her mind in reality.

Life was good. They were so good when they were together. She wondered if he could see that. Finally she couldn't take wondering anymore, so she decided to find out if heart was still tied up in someone else or if she could have reason to hope…

He was walking her home from coffee one night after their shift and she decided to throw caution to the wind.

"Flack, these last few weeks have been really great for me. Spending time with you, well…"

Flack's heart sank; he could feel rejection headed his way.

"…it has been just what I needed."

"I feel the same way Stella. I'd been in a pretty bad funk, if you hadn't noticed."

They both laughed at his statement of the obvious.

Stella continued to dive deeper, "I know, and I am so glad that you've gotten past that. I wonder though what exactly caused it in the first place."

Flack stayed quiet not knowing how to respond. Still not ready to admit the truth.

His silence worried Stella. She thought that bring it up would just be opening this wound the other woman had left, but she had to finish what she started.

"I know what we have carefully avoided this subject over the last few weeks, but I want to make sure that you're really ok. I accidentally overheard a conversation that you had with Danny in the locker room a few weeks back…" her voice trailed off.

Flack's heart began to beat very rapidly. He knew the exact event she was speaking of. Had she known the truth this whole time? How could she not say anything? If she knew and hadn't responded she must not feel the same way. She just wanted to let him off easy.

"…and I didn't get all the details, in fact I'm not sure who it concerned, but you sounded really heartbroken." She began to get nervous, knowing there was no turning back and her speech quickened. "And I know that is not easy to get over. You know you can talk to me about anything. I mean do you still have feelings for this woman? Have you discussed them with her? Does she have feelings for you?"

At this point Stella was just staring at the ground rambling on. Flack stepped in front of her to stop her progress.

Trying to control the hurricane of emotions running through his hope filled heart Flack spoke very calmly, "Stella, you overheard me and Danny fighting in the locker room?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, but I saw you yell at Adam and I wanted to talk to you about it so I followed you. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. I shouldn't have brought it up." She couldn't look up at him. She continued to stare at the sidewalk. Still speaking so quickly Flack had trouble keeping up.

He placed both hands on Stella's shoulders to try and calm her rambling. "It is ok Stella. I'm not mad. You heard us but you don't know who I was talking about?"

"No, I assumed it was Angell or someone else at the precinct."

Flack actually began to chuckle a bit.

The laugh really threw Stella off a bit. "Have you gotten over her then?" She said with hope in her voice as she looked up at Flack.

With that question his laughter stopped and his face grew serious. "No, I haven't gotten over her and I don't know that I ever will."

Stella felt her recent hope escape from her heart and her eyes met the pavement again. Not wanting Flack to see her disappointment.

In an instant Flack's right hand was under her chin bring her face up to meet his so he could look deep into her eyes. "Stella, I was talking about you. It's always been you. You are the one I can't get over. You are the one I'm in love with."

It took a few moments for his words to sink in, but even if she hadn't had heard them his blue eyes relayed his feelings. Now they were searching hers for the same. Her heart was filling with joy and a huge smile replaced the sadness on her face. Her left hand met his that was now holding her cheek. Stella leaned into his hand and kissed his lightly. A tear of happiness escaped and rolled down her face and she sighed.

"Oh, Don."

He reached up with his other hand gently wiping the tear off her face with his thumb, and then just holding her face in both his hands.

"Stella."

And with that one word, she was lost. The same desperation and longing that she heard him speak that day in the locker room with Danny, she'd just heard again as he said her name.

As they stood there looking into one another's eyes the inevitable happened. Their phones began to chirp at the same time.

"Son of a bitch," Flack hissed knowing without a doubt that if both phones were ringing it had to be work, they were both on call, and it couldn't be ignored. Stella laughed and they dutifully looked at their phones.

"Crime scene across town. " Stella stated with disappointment.

"Yeah, must be a bad one. Mac's got the whole world headed over there. Perfect timing right?"

"Don't worry Don; we will finish this conversation very soon." They both smiled.

"Can I give you a lift?"

"I wish, shoot, my kit is in my truck back at the lab. You head on over to the scene, sounds like they need help ASAP, and I will meet you there."


	5. Chapter 5

This is really my original idea for the story. Just took me a while to set it up.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the fabulous characters of CSI:NY. Why do you have to keep reminding me?

* * *

When Stella finally arrived at the crime scene Mac was already briefing the rest of the gang. Things looked very serious.

"The call came into dispatch about 10 minutes after the first one reporting the DBs. SWAT and the Bomb Squad are tied up with another incident downtown, so we are the primaries until they can arrive. The threat was non-specific about location and type of bomb, but we need to take warning seriously."

Stella heard the word "bomb" and immediately looked at Flack. It had been two years now and though he never mentioned it, and the wound was completely healed, she was sure the scar was still there, an ever constant reminder of that day. The day Don nearly lost his life. Walking back into a similar situation couldn't be at the top of his list of things to do today or ever for that matter.

"Before we begin to process the scene we need to do a sweep of the building and make sure it is empty. It is after hours for all these offices, so it should be cleared out. Lindsay, you and I will take the first floor, Danny and Hawkes hit the second floor, Angell grab a uniform and search the third. Stella and Flack I need you two on the fourth and fifth. The fifth is completely unoccupied according to the leasing company, so don't worry about spending too much time up there. Primary objective to make sure there are no people inside. Keep a lookout for anything that look suspicious, but get in and get out. A secondary bomb unit is supposed to be dispatched to us ASAP, so we will leave the in depth bomb search to them. Be careful everyone."

Within minutes the entire gang was headed into the back door, vests on and guns drawn. Flack knew there was something wrong with the situation. Yes, it seemed an awful lot like the scene that landed him in the hospital for weeks, but that wasn't it. Could it have been a coincidence that across town the bomb squad and SWAT had been called out just minutes before their call came in? It just seemed a bit too perfect, but was someone targeting the team? It was standard protocol for a CSI unit to head out when bodies were involved. Mac had called in the whole team because it was reported as multiple bodies on several floors. So far though, no one had seen any indications that backed up the original anonymous tip.

As they were methodically climbing the stairs two by two, Stella saw the concern on Flack's face. "What's bothering you?"

"I don't know. This just doesn't seem to be adding up."

Floor by floor the teams broke off to cover their respective areas. Flack and Stella reached the fourth floor and just before they opened the door, Stella reached down and placed her hand on Flack's wrist. "No cowboy antics today, I want you back in one piece when this is over, ok."

Flack smiled and nodded. "Let's make quick work of this. I'll go left and you go right. Just clear rooms and then we'll head up to the fifth together."

When they opened the door each immediately began calling out for people and checking doors. Stella was halfway down the hall and so far nothing. Typical business offices and at this time on a Friday night, it was a ghost town.

Flack was seeing the same thing on his end of the hallway. Just a few more doors and they could move up to the fifth floor. No sign of any people, no dead bodies, and no bombs. All that combined really didn't make Flack feel any better. He smelled a trap. After he cleared the last office on his end he quickly turned and headed back to the middle of the floor to meet Stella. Before he got there, a horrible noise came from the other end of the building. Gunshots. Stella. Three shots fired in a row. He reached for his radio and began to move in that direction, but didn't make it very far.

A fourth shot came and then the world sounded like it was splitting apart. Debris flew everywhere and a shock wave knocked him clear down the hallway. And then the world went silent.

* * *

He didn't know how long he'd been out, but he woke to loud chatter on the radio. It was Mac's voice and it sounded frantic.

"All teams check in. I repeat. All teams check in. Lindsay and I had cleared the building. Danny what is yours and Hawkes' status?...Danny come in."

There was a long pause.

"Danny!" Mac said sternly into the radio.

"Mac its Hawkes, Danny and I were in the stairwell when the blast hit. We got knocked around, and Danny lost his radio, but we're good. We are on our way out now."

"Angell what is your location?"

In Flack's haze he could tell Mac was being as methodical as usual checking in floor by floor.

"Mac, Rodriguez and I were on the north side of the building when the bomb went off. We are having some trouble making it back to the stairwell. Debris everywhere, but it seems the blast came from the floor above. Any word from Flack or Bonasera?"

"No, make your way down as best you can, but be careful. From the looks of the building on the outside things up there look pretty unstable. Stella? Flack? What is your position?"

Flack reached for his radio, but realized that though he could hear it, it wasn't where he thought it was on his hip nor was he where he remembered being. As the world became a bit clearer he figured out the heavy weight on his chest was the receptionist desk from the first office he'd checked. When he looked around the rubble he could see that several walls around him were missing and the hallway on Stella's end of the building was completely collapsed. In fact he was convinced what he saw in front of him was more of the fifth floor than the fourth floor. His next thought brought the world crashing down in his mind, "Oh God, Stella! Gunshots _and_ the bomb." Then he roared, "STELLA!!" Praying for a response.

The radio crackled over and over again. "Flack! Stella! Can you here us? What is your status?"

Flack looked around to find the source of the sound and then he saw the radio about five feet to his right. He then remembered grabbing the radio off his hip to report "shots fired" just before the explosion. After struggling with the desk on top of him for a few minutes, Flack was able to free himself and crawl out from under the pile of debris that turned out to be not only a desk but some of the ceiling from above. The sharp pain in his chest came as an after thought, but it didn't seem to bother him at the moment.

He reached the radio and immediately answered Mac. "Mac it's Flack do you copy?"

"Yeah Flack, it's Mac where is Stella? Is she with you? You sound hurt. What happened up there?"

Danny and Hawkes had made there way back Mac and Lindsay; all were now staring at Mac's radio waiting for Flack to respond.

"We took different ends of the floor, Mac. I went left and Stella went right…" His voice trailed a bit.

Everyone looked up at the building, the weight of the statement settling in.

"I'd finished checking my end and as I was headed back to the stairwell I heard gunfire from Stella's end. Three shots in rapid progression and a beat later the fourth came along with the blast."

By now Flack was standing as best he could and was trying to navigate his way back to Stella's end of the hall, but each step proving more difficult with the chaos that surrounded him. "STELLA!" He cried out again. His mind began to race.

"Mac, I don't know where she is. She's not answering me when I call out and I didn't see her in the hall before the blast. Its bad up here and it only gets worse the closer I get to the south side." Flack winced with each breath, and he felt something running down his forehead. He reached up and realized he was bleeding from pretty decent sized gash on his forehead. " What can you guys see from out there?"

"Oh, Stella." Lindsay gasped a bit and grabbed Danny's arm.

From there vantage point the fourth and fifth floor on the southwest corner of the building really no longer existed. That area of the building had collapsed on itself.

"It is not good Flack." Mac stated a bit defeated. "You sound hurt Flack. What is your status?" Mac's mind briefly flashed back to two years ago when he found Don with a gaping whole in his abdomen.

"I'm ok." He was pretty sure that he had some broken ribs, but he knew if he told Mac that he would be ordered out of the building, but he wasn't leaving until he found Stella.

Angell and Rodriguez finally made it out of the building and immediately began coordinating with the fire trucks that had just arrived.

Mac looked back up to the building thats upper half looked like it was holding on with a thread and took a deep breath. "Don it isn't safe for you to be in the building. The blast looks to have taken out some important structural elements. Can you get back to the stairwell?"

Mac knew that Stella was trapped in the rubble somewhere up there, but he also knew he had to protect the rest of his team. He couldn't order Flack to stay and search…

"Mac I don't see the door to the stairs and even if I did, I'm not coming out until I find Stella."

The tone of Flack voice let Mac know that he wasn't going to be able to change Flack's mind, and quite frankly he was relieved. Flack was the kind of man you wanted around in these situations. Plus Mac had noticed recently that Don had feelings for Stella. Trying to stop him would be like talking to a brick wall.

"Alright Don, be careful. I want you in constant radio contact. That building shifts I want you out of there, you got that."

"I can't make any promises Mac. She's in here somewhere and I don't plan on leaving without her…"

* * *

Let me know what you think of the action...


	6. Chapter 6

As always, Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of CSI:NY. But oh, if I did...

* * *

Before Mac had time to process the situation he noticed Danny and Hawkes gearing up. Grabbing flashlights and protective gear out of their trucks. Immediately Mac questioned them.

"Danny, Hawkes, what are you doing?"

"Danny no! It is too dangerous." Lindsay pleaded.

"Stella's trapped and we're going to help Search and Rescue find her. We can't just stand here and wait." Danny replied with serious conviction.

A long pause went by.

Calmer this time, Danny added, "You said it yourself Mac, Don's hurt. It sounds bad and I know he's never going to own up to it."

"For all we know he is trapped on that floor too," Hawkes interjected.

Mac was reminded yet again how his team's strong bond was and blessing and in time like this could be a curse. "Alright, Danny and Hawkes, you can go back in. But stay together and listen to the Rescue team. If and area is too unstable, walk away."

"Roger that Mac."

"You got it Boss," agreed Hawkes. "Let's move out."

Mac lifted the radio back up to his mouth. "Where are you now Don?"

"I've moved closer to the south side. It is slow going. The ceiling is now the wall and what were walls now seem to be the floor. The center of the blast couldn't be too much farther than where I am now. Search and rescue arrive yet, Mac?"

"Yeah Don they are gearing up as we speak. Messer and Hawkes are headed back into the building to help look for Stella. Any sign of her yet?"

"No." As Flack uttered the word he felt his heart grow heavier. "She was on the fourth floor for sure; we agreed to hit the fifth together. Last I saw she had about three more offices left to check on the far end. That is where I am headed now."

"Keep searching Don."

* * *

When Stella opened her eyes she had no idea where she was. Everything was quiet and she couldn't move. Actually she could move her right hand but not her left. She could lift her head but not her hips. She could feel her body but couldn't move it all. Then she realized she was pinned.

As she slowly began to shake the cobwebs free in her mind. She remembered pulling up to the crime scene, running up the stairs with Don, and that smile on his face when she told him to be careful, but 

the rest was a blur. Glancing around it was dark and hard to see, but everything around her looked to be fallen walls. As she looked further to her right there was a small bit of light and she recognized what seemed to be a paneled ceiling tile, but it was beside her on the floor.

Then she remembered. It was a bomb threat. That was why they were searching the building. She began to think the worst. Where was everyone else? Did they make it out? Don, he was on the floor with her. She had a radio with her, could she still reach it? Maybe she could get someone to answer.

With her limited range of motion, considering she was stuck between what she had now deduced must be a wall and the ceiling, she groped for the radio she'd attached to the front of her vest. Barely reaching it she snapped it off the vest and held it as close to her face as she could.

The red light was on, but no sound was coming out. She waited until the light went off pinched the talk button, "Anybody there. Don? Mac? Linds? Can anyone hear me?" She released the button and waited for a response. The red light lit up, but still no sound. "It can't be broken, it just can't," she thought.

Trying again she spoke into the radio and got no response. Then she realized everything was quiet, too quiet. Even when she spoke she didn't hear herself. The blast must have been close enough to deafen her temporarily, or a least she hoped temporarily.

* * *

The second he heard her voice on the radio his heart skipped a beat. She was alive, for now. He still needed to find her. He responded immediately to the call.

"Stella, it's Don. Where are you? Are you OK?"

The whole team was listening, hoping Stella answered "yes."

Instead they heard her call out again, as if no one had responded. Flack answered her again, but this time got no response. Flack's cell phone rang.

"Stella?"

"No Don, it is Mac. I think her radio is broken, she obviously didn't hear your response, but we heard it loud and clear."

"Shit."

"I know, but hopefully she'll keep talking to us. Lindsay is trying her cell now to see if she can pick up, but so far she has gotten no response."

Just then Stella came back on the radio.

"I hope you can hear me. The radio looks to be working properly, but I can't hear you. I actually can't seem to hear anything. I must have been really close to the center of the blast because I am totally deaf at the moment."

Flack kept plowing through debris trying to reach her. Listening out for her voice to guide him to her.

"I can see the "transmitting" light on my handset. If someone from my team can hear me please click once for "yes."

Flack still had Mac on the line. "Damn that Stella is a smart one. Mac you respond while I keep looking." At least she was thinking clearly.

Mac clicked once for "yes."

Stella felt a wave of relief wash over her at least she could talk to them. "Is this Mac? Click twice for 'No'."

_One blink_.

"Oh thank God. Are you ok?"

_One blink._

"Is everyone else ok?"

_One blink._

"Is Don ok? He was up here with me?"

A long pause passed by, and then a single blink.

Stella knew exactly what that meant. "I'll take that hesitation to mean that more than likely he is hurt but not admitting it."

Don laughed at the last statement, but when he did we was reminded of the sharp, horrible pain in his chest.

"Come on Stella, tell us where you are," Flack wished out loud.

"I remember entering the second to last door on the right, but I image that isn't helping much anymore. From what I can tell, I am pinned in between the ceiling and a wall. I've got my right arm free, but everything else is immobilized. I don't have any specific injuries that I know of except a sharp pang on my left hand side. Must have happened in the blast…" Then Stella remembered gunfire. There was gunfire before the blast.

"There was gunfire behind me! That's right, I heard the first shot, but it missed. The second one got my vest on the back side. As I dove to the floor I heard the third one. When I turned and took aim at the shooter…"

Stella paused to try and remember every detail.

"…his coat opened. That is when I saw it. The bomb was strapped to his chest, but it was too late. I'd already pulled the trigger! Oh my goodness, I detonated the bomb. Why did I shoot without looking?"

Stella was getting herself all worked up. The pain in her side was getting worse and she realized her breathing was labored. Suddenly she was feeling a bit light headed.

"Come on Stella keep talking. What else did you see? What all is around you?" Don willed her to respond.

"The pain in my side is getting worse. I'm getting a bit woozy, it must be shock or…could I be loosing blood?" As she tried to move a bit to examine her situation, a sharp pain jolted her back into place. The pain helped her remember. "The third shot! I must have been hit while I was diving to the ground and turning to face the shooter. It must have penetrated my vest or hit just below. Damn it. I remember now. I must be losing blood...and I can't reach the wound."

"We've got to find her fast Mac…this isn't good!" Flack barked into his cell phone.

Mac just lowered his head and took a deep breath.

"Goddammit!" Flack yelled to anyone and everyone. He had to find her and it had to be fast.


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for all of the encouragement. Those kind reviews make it easier to keep going.

This was the hardest chapter yet. Please forgive any bad leaps in logic or knowledge. I'm not an expert in any of these areas, just using my imagination.

Disclaimer: As we all know, I do not own any of the characters of CSI:NY.

* * *

Flack felt as if the walls were closing in on him, except they weren't they are already on the ground. He couldn't be that far from Stella, but he still couldn't hear or see any sign of her. His ribs were killing him and Stella was pinned somewhere in the ruble bleeding. How could this day have gone so wrong so quickly? Less than an hour ago he'd finally told Stella how he felt about her, that he loved her. He kept thinking, "What kind of sick joke is this?"

But those thoughts weren't going to help him at the task at hand, finding Stella. For the last few minutes, Stella hand been steadily describing everything that was currently around her, along with the last things she remembered before the blast.

"To my right are some ceiling panels, like the kind you would find in a drop ceiling. The wall underneath me is typical. I'm a little close to it, but I think the top is painted beige and it feels like there might be a chair rail running across my thighs, but I can't see that it is just a guess."

Mac began to speak into his cell phone which now had Danny patched into his call with Don. "Guys, I've got a maintenance guy here with me. He is one of the few people we cleared off of the first floor. He says the only drop ceiling on those floors is on the fourth floor next to last office on the southwest side. They had to install it to cover some added exhaust system they installed. Danny where are you and Hawkes?"

"Mac, we just checked third floor on the southwest side. It's relatively intact. No sign of Stella though. Blast seemed to have had more of an effect upward than downward. We are making our way up to the fourth floor now, but stairwell sustained a good bit of damage at the door and we are having some trouble opening it. Flack, we'll be there soon."

By this time Don had determine he wasn't standing on the fourth floor anymore. "Mac, I'm pretty sure I know why Danny and Hawkes are having trouble opening that door. I don't think the fourth floor exists anymore on this side of the building. The ceiling has totally collapsed along with walls."

"Sounds about right Flack. From where I am standing on the street, the fourth floor looks about three feet tall in that corner of the building. We are trying to work out a way for them to go around."

Stella started talking again, but this time her voice sounded weaker. "Well, I have a bit of good news. I no longer hear 'nothing.' Instead I have the most horrible ringing sound in my ear. I'm not sure that I don't prefer the silence, but as for long term hearing options I think this is better."

Typical Stella Don thought. Even in these circumstances she's kept it together. She was so strong. He just needed her to hold on.

Stella had faith in her team and knew that they would find, but she was starting to wonder if it would be soon enough. Stella didn't know exactly how badly she was bleeding, but the angle of her body (tilted to the left were the wound was) and the lack of pressure on the wound, she knew things weren't good. Couple that with the fact she was feeling profoundly light headed and she knew shock couldn't be too far away, Stella could tell that the clock was ticking.

"I know you guys are looking for me, well at least I hope you are, but I am going to have to ask you to put a rush on things. I'm not feeling so hot and I'd like to get out of here. My arm is asleep and quite frankly I'm tired of waiting."

Mac actually laughed at his old friend, but he could hear the fear in her voice. Stella was sharp and he knew she understood her dire circumstances. Her humor was just a mask, in part to hide her true thoughts, and he figured it was also in part to try and reassure the gang that she was OK despite the fact they all knew she wasn't.

Minutes were ticking past like hours and Flack was growing impatient. He knew every minute was important. His own experience with a bomb taught him that. "She was just down the hall. Why can't I find her?"

"Flack, Lindsay just talked to Adam back at the lab, he pulled the plans for the building and is trying to run some simulations of the blast to get a better idea of where Stella might be."

"Any help we can get right?"

"Exactly, we've got more bad news though. Danny and Hawkes can't get the door open and that stairwell seems to be the only access point available according to Search and Rescue."

"Doesn't sound so available to me." Flack growled.

Mac knew the young detective was in pain and growing increasing irate at the situation, but he had more bad news to give. "Don, there trying to get some equipment up there to gain some access, but it is going to take some time."

"So basically you're telling me that even if I find Stella I might not be able to get her out of this hell hole. That is just the news I wanted to hear. Tell them to fucking put a rush on it, will ya?"

Flack knew Mac was just the messenger, but he couldn't help his anger. Nothing was fair about this situation. The thing he held most dear in this world was trapped and he couldn't seem to do anything to change that fact. Flack kept searching.

At this point Stella knew that she was growing extremely weak. Her inability to even hold her head up for a few seconds proved this point. Consciousness wasn't going to be an option for much longer. She hadn't seen anything shift around her, so she sadly assumed no one had even come close to finding her.

"I really am not sure how much longer I am going to be able to talk, and I know this sounds very melodramatic, but I have some things I want to say. I really don't plan on leaving you guys, but in case I do…"

"No Stella, babe, you can't start thinking like that." Flack said as is heart crumbled in his chest.

"I want you all to know that you are my family. From someone who didn't have a family growing up, just know that it means the world to me. I love each one of you and I wouldn't change a thing about any of you." Her breathing was growing very labored and the emotion was starting to hit her hard.

Mac felt a large lump form in his throat. He turned and looked at Lindsay who quietly had tears streaming down her face even as she gave a status update to Angell.

"Mac you gotta have something for me down there. I need some direction up here." Flack pleaded into his cell phone.

"Adam's getting nowhere, but the guys have the saw they need to bust through the wall of the stairwell, so they should be starting it up any minute."

Stella took as deep of a breath as she could and continued, "Mac, I love you. You are my dearest friend and it has always been an honor to work for you. You've tested me all along the way, all the while holding me up and pushing to be better. I know loosing Claire and Peyton broke your heart, but you gotta promise me to keep trying... I'm gonna need a single click on that."

With tears in his eyes he grinned a little. Stella's friendship was the one constant in his life. He dutifully clicked the talk button on his radio just once.

"Good. And don't forget you just promised."

Down the hall Flack heard the very welcome sounds of a heavy duty chainsaw. At least he was about to have some help.

"Don good news."

"Anything Mac, whatcha got?"

"You can probably hear the saw working so that is not news to you, but we just got an infrared scanner. Lindsay and the tech are setting up. We aren't too optimistic because of the residual heat from the blast, but we are hoping to find something."

Flack had spent all this time searching every bit of the floor he could, but was coming up dry. "Just let me know when you've got something."

Don's attention was drawn back to the radio. Stella was talking again. "Mac, I need to know if Flack is listening."

Mac clicked once to answer and noticed Stella sounded like she was fading fast.

"Don, I'm sorry we didn't get to finish our conversation today, but I swore to myself that I would do this one day and I think it is now or never."

Flack literally felt as if he was dying inside. She sounded so frail and was obviously running out of time.

"Today when you told me you loved me, it was the best moment of my life. I don't know when it happened, but somewhere along the way I fell in love with you too. I pretty sure that we were always meant to be together and I am really regretting today that we didn't figure it out sooner."

Flack had tears streaming down his face. "Oh god Stella, I love you. Please hang on." He was tearing through debris, trying everything he could to find her.

This time when Stella spoke Don could tell she was crying. "I wish I could have said this to you face to face. Damn it. I finally have the man of my dreams and I going to miss out on it because of some crazy with a bomb. Shit."

"Flack! We've got you on the monitor. It is not great but we see two anomalies on that end of the building. One is moving, which we are assuming is you, and the other is slightly lower in temp and is idle. It has got to be Stella."

"Where? Where is she?"

"Looks to be about 25 feet to the northwest of your current position. Problem is she is about 15 feet below you."

Immediately Flack ran to the area Mac described and began removing large chunks of walls, floor, and ceiling.

"She should be right below you now. Can you see any signs of her?"

"No, there is a ton of debris in this area. I am clearing it as fast as I can."

"Don…" Stella spoke again slowly and at her faintest yet, but this time Flack could have sworn he heard it over the radio _and_ nearby. He stopped clearing and leaned down.

"You are everything that I could have ever dreamed of and I just want to you to know I love you with all my heart."

"Stella!! I can hear you! Hold on!" Don's heart began to race. "Mac, I heard her. She's just below me."

* * *

That was a bear to write, but I hope you enjoyed it.


	8. Chapter 8

Another hard chapter to write. I hope you can visualize it all somehow.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of CSI:NY. Life isn't that fair.

* * *

Flack moved, flung, and dug at debris until he'd made a manhole sized opening. He leaned his head deep into the hole trying to assess the situation below. There was plenty of room for him to get down into the eight foot high pocket that had formed, but he was afraid to move in until he could see where Stella might be. Then he saw it. He could see her right hand.

Judging where she must be located underneath the "wall," he then pulled his head back out of the hole and started to lower himself down feet first. His heart was racing. Stella hadn't said anything in a few minutes and judging by the weakness of her last words, he knew that was a very bad sign.

"Stella, I'm here! It's me, Don. Stella?" He waited for any kind of response, but got none in return.

Flack had to maneuver down another four feet or so to get the vicinity of Stella's hand. It was no good. From the left side he could see nothing. Quickly he made his way around to what had to be the other side of her body, trying desperately not to move too many things in the area, afraid that any unplanned movement might hurt her or his chances of pulling her out.

"Oh Stella!" Flack yelled when he could see more of her. She was pinned to the floor from head to toe by a heavy steel girder infused load bearing wall. No wonder she couldn't free herself. Her face was deathly pale and her eyes were closed. He reached for her face and stroked her cheek.

"Stell, you can't say what you just said and then leave me all alone. Stay with me! I need you. I love you. Please don't leave me just yet." He felt tears again running down his face.

He brought his fingers down to her neck and felt for a pulse. It was extremely weak, but it was there. A glimmer of hope entered his mind, until her realized he wasn't sure if he could get her out in time.

He grabbed Stella's radio and called into Mac. "Mac, I've found her! She is pinned down pretty good. She is unconscious, but has a pulse. It is very weak, but she has one."

"Don, can you get her out of there? Danny says they are about a minute away from having the whole cut. They have a stretcher with a backboard. Can you get her out from the rubble easily? If not, you should wait for Search and Rescue. We don't want you to get trapped up there too."

"Fuck that Mac. I'm not waiting for anything or anyone. She needs out of here now!" Flack barked angrily into the handset. "Tell them to get that stretcher up here ASAP," and with that he flung the radio out of his way.

"Stell, I'm gonna get you outta here, just hang on a few more minutes, baby please."

Flack paused one second to analyze the situation. He guessed Stella was unable to budge the wall because of her lack of leverage. If he could just get slightly below her, he could lie on his back and press the wall upward with his legs. That way he could have his arms free to move her and his legs should be strong enough to lift the wall just a few inches upward. That was all they needed was a few inches. Quickly Flack set to work moving a few pieces of debris so he could position himself on his back beside her. With his legs in place he began to push.

Nothing moved. "No, this has to work!" This time he set his legs wider then pressed upward. He felt the wall lift a bit, not enough, but some. The third time he pushed, something shifted and the wall moved. Straining to keep it high enough, he tried to reach Stella's arm to pull her out, but he had a bad angle. With the wall up, he felt a liquid run across the floor under him. Just then he heard a voice.

"Flack, we're here man!" Danny yelled from the hole Flack had made.

With his legs straining under the weight, he yelled back, "Danny get down here quick. I can't hold the wall much long and I can't reach to pull her out!"

Everything then happened in a flash. Danny was by his side in a second and freed Stella from her trap. Hawkes jumped down and had the backboard ready. Together Hawkes and Danny strapped her to it as fast as they could and handed her up to Search and Rescue. Flack lowered the wall to the floor trying not to let it drop, he was afraid the weight of the wall falling too fast might cause more structural damage. That he was not willing to risk until Stella and the team were safely outside the building, so he set the wall down as gently as he could.

Hawkes was yelling vitals and info to the rescue team, "Gunshot wound to the abdomen. Major blood loss, very faint pulse, BP non-existent, and she suffered hearing loss and more than likely internal injuries during the blast."

Every word he heard Hawkes utter was like a nail being hammered into his heart, but she was still alive. He had to focus on that. She was still alive.

* * *

Mac heard the chatter over the radio. "We've got her. We are coming down now. Have the bus ready to pull out. She's barely hanging on."

As he saw the stretcher emerge from the back of the building, Mac ran towards it. He reached for her and grazed her arm, but the EMTs rolled right past pausing for no one. Next Mac saw Danny and Hawkes running out the back door.

"We got her Mac, but she don't look too good." Danny said with a palpable sadness. "But she's a fighter right? She's gotta pull through."

Mac couldn't answer. The words just wouldn't come. Finally he asked, "Where's Flack?"

"Rescue was lifting him out of that mess, he yelled for us to follow Stella down. Guess he didn't want her to be alone." Hawkes answered.

"Danny!" Lindsay yelled as she came running up to them. She flung her arms around him, "You ok? Hawkes, are you alright? Where is Flack?"

"He should be right behind us." Danny answered once she released his chest and it filled back up with air.

"I'm gonna follow Stella's bus in my truck. You guys make sure Flack gets out. The Brass is sending in a team to relieve us, make sure the scene is secure until they take over. Lindsay, make sure everyone gets checked out by an EMT. No excuses!" Mac barked while he jogged to his truck.

Lindsay turned around to start yelling at Danny for rushing back into the crumbling building when Flack staggered through the back door. "Flack!"

Danny and Hawkes turned in unison and the three of them ran towards him.

"Flack, man, you don't look so good," was all Danny could get out. Don looked really bad. Danny couldn't believe he didn't notice it up stairs.

The weight of the last hour came crashing down on Flack. His strength was gone, his chest wanted to explode and his legs felt like jello. Before the gang could even reach him he crashed to his knees on the sidewalk. Danny and Hawkes caught his chest just before he toppled over face first to the cement.

"We need EMS over here now!" Lindsay shouted into her radio. She walked around Flack scanning him for injuries. "Flack your bleeding like crazy! The back of your shirt is covered in blood." His entire lower backside was dripping red.

Still on their knees holding Flack up, Danny and Hawkes ripped the shirt off along with his undershirt in a few swift moves immediately checking his back for wounds, but finding nothing significant enough for that amount of blood loss.

In his stupor Flack vaguely remembered the flood of liquid that rushed him once he dislodged the wall above Stella.

"It's not mine, it's…" Flack's voice trailed off as he passed out.

Lindsay gasped at the horrible realization. "Oh God! It's Stella's."

* * *

Please keep the feed back coming. If blatantly forgot something or the story has a gaping hole let me know. :)


	9. Chapter 9

Typical Disclaimer: I do not own any of the wonderful characters of CSI:NY.

Remember I am not a doctor, I just watch a lot of TV. Please forgive any mistakes I make in the medical field.

* * *

He could see her.

Flack could see Stella standing across the ballroom looking drop-dead gorgeous in her unbelievably sexy black dress with the plunging neckline. She smiled at him and began to make her way over to where he was. Then somewhere in the crowd she disappeared. He searched all the faces but couldn't find the one he wanted. The one he needed. The one he loved.

"Stella! Where did you go?"

"Don."

"Stella?"

"Don, look at me. Wake up!"

Flack finally opened his eyes and pulled himself out of his reverie. "Where is she?" He strained to try and sit up only to be met by an excruciating pain in his chest that sent him right back down to the stretcher.

"Don, relax. Lay back down. You found her, she is probably already at the hospital." Lindsay spoke calmly to him.

"I need to see her. I need to be there. I can't be here. I need to get to the hospital." Flack pleaded, not quite knowing where he really was at the moment only that something was terribly wrong.

"Sweetie, look around for a second. We _are_ on our way to the hospital. We are in an ambulance. Don't you remember?"

Don took a deep, very painful breath as the horrible events of the evening flooded back to him, the gunfire, the bomb, Stella's words, Stella's tears, and finally finding her unresponsive.

"I do. I remember ever fucking horrible detail, but why the hell am I strapped to this gurney?"

"When you came out of the building, you collapsed onto the sidewalk and passed out a minute later. Danny and Hawkes managed to catch you before you face planted on the sidewalk. At least you didn't break your nose." Lindsay attempted a bit of humor.

"Laughing is not on the list of things I need to do at the moment. Fuck, my chest is hurt. In fact breathing is pretty low on the totem pole at the moment. Shit."

"Just try not to move very much. We're almost there."

* * *

As soon as the elevator doors opened, Mac heard a commotion. He stepped out and began to search for the problem. Realizing the loudest voice in the altercation was familiar to him, he quickened his pace. Rounded the corner and entered one of the main halls of the ER.

Thirty feet down the hall, Mac saw a very irate Don Flack arguing with two nurses and a burly orderly. Flack was barefoot in a hospital gown with an IV hooked up hanging from his arm and practically welding his IV pole as a weapon. Mac almost laughed until he heard the anger in Flack's voice.

"If you aren't going to tell me where she is then I'll just go find her myself! Screw hospital policy!" Flack roared.

"Sir, we don't know where she is and there isn't any more we can tell you about her situation. We need to take care of you first." One of the sweet young nurses tried to explain, her voice filled with fear knowing that answer was not going to go over well with her patient.

"Don!" Mac hollered as he jogged up to the group. "They've got her in surgery. Stop harassing these poor nurses and get back in bed." The last comment said with enough authority that Flack decided to listen.

Mac apologized to the hospital staff and reassured them it wouldn't happen again. Lindsay came jogging up, just as the nurses turned to leave.

"What happened? I left to find you and then I heard a bunch of shouting." Lindsay asked as they entered Flack's exam room.

"I guess Don tried to stage a prison break to find Stella and got met with some resistance."

Lindsay sighed. "Flack I told you to stop giving those nurses a hard time, that if they knew anything they would tell us."

Flack was gingerly lowing himself back down on to his bed, trying his best not to scream out in pain and in frustration. "I got tired of waiting."

"All I know at the moment is that she holding on and that they have her in surgery to retrieve the bullet and repair any damage it might have done."

"I just ran into Danny and Hawkes." Lindsay interjected. "They were going to find and old friend of Hawkes' that runs the ER and he was going to see if he could get anymore detailed information on her status."

Several minutes later Danny and Hawkes found thier way to the rest of the gang.

"What did he say Hawkes? How is she?" Flack spoke before they could even get in the door good.

"Glad to see you're with us again in the land of the living!" Danny half joked.

"Not now Messer."

"Dr. Branson, head of the ER, says that she is up in surgery. When she came into the ER, her bleeding had stopped but her pulse was weak and she needed O2. After a quick portable X-ray, they found no other significant traumas. There was lots of bad bruising and some nasty abrasions, but nothing else substantial. Her left wrist looks to be broken, but they aren't worried about that at the moment. She may also have some damage to her right knee, but again that wasn't a top priority. He called up to surgery and it all seems to be going well. Bullet looked intact and doesn't seem to have done very much damage."

"That all sounds very good." Lindsay said with hope in her voice.

"Yes, Linds, that is all good news." Hawkes answered but didn't show any signs of relief. Flack knew the Doc was holding something back. Danny was staying awfully quiet too.

"What aren't you telling us Doc? What else did your friend tell you." Flack demanded.

"She lost a lot of blood at the scene. Dr. Branson doesn't quite understand it. The bullet didn't hit any major arteries, but for some reason the wound kept bleeding. I explained how you found her, and he said that the combination of her torso being trapped laid out flat, angled down, and no pressure being applied to the wound might account for it. Regardless, we won't know more until she is out of surgery."

"I don't understand, you said her surgery is going well." Lindsay said deflated.

"What I am trying to say, is that she lost _too_ much blood and well…they aren't sure if she is going wake up."

Don was certain someone had just stabbed him in the heart. The whole room was silent.

"Her body was deprived of a proper level of oxygen for who knows how long. They started giving her blood as soon as she came through the doors, but she didn't regain consciousness before they took her to surgery. When she is out of the OR, they'll run some neurological diagnostic tests and then they'll know more."

Don closed his eyes and turned his head away from everyone as a tears rolled down his face. Mac saw the pain in the young detective's face and decided to clear the room.

"All we can do at the moment is wait. Don needs some rest so lets give him some space."

* * *

Outside Don's room the group huddled quietly.

"Hawkes, what did your friend say about Don?"

"He laughed and said that he was a real piece of work. Said he has been raising cane since he came through the door."

Danny mustered up a smile, "Yeah, that sounds like Don when he is as pissed off as he is at the moment."

"He's dealing with a lot at the moment and though he won't really say it, I think he is in a lot of physical pain." Lindsay added.

"No doubt about the pain." Hawkes concurred. "Dr. Branson, said that he has three broken ribs, more bruises than he could count, some pretty decent lacerations, and a mild concussion from a head contusion that he suffered in the blast. Not to mention the stress he put his body under lifting that wall off of Stella. Mac, I don't know how he moved that thing. It was massive. I'm surprised he didn't loose consciousness then. The fact he made it all the way out of the building without passing out is unbelievable."

"What do they say," Danny asked, "'love can move mountains'?"

Taking a minute to let all of the news sink in, they all realized that they were very lucky that either or their friends made it out of the building alive. Now they just needed Stella to wake up.

"Lets set up shop in the surgical waiting room and we will take turns down here with Flack." Mac said taking charge as usual. "Hawkes show them the way and I'll sit with Don for a bit. Call the second you hear anything."

"Will do Mac."

* * *

When Mac walked back into the room, Flack hadn't moved. His head still faced the wall, but now there was just a blank stare. Mac walked over and sat in the chair beside the bed. They stayed like that for several minutes, both unable to find any words.

"Don, you know how strong she is. She can pull through this. You've got to believe." Mac finally spoke, half pleading.

"I've been such a coward."

"Don, if you hadn't been there we would have lost her for certain. You've given her a fighting chance." Mac protested.

"No, that isn't what I meant." Flack sighed still staring at the wall. "I've been such a coward. I've been in love with her for months, probably years. I've been too stupid to admit it to myself and then I was too chicken to even ask her out. I finally tell her the truth and this happens."

Mac stayed silent knowing the young man just needed to vent.

"All this time I could have been with her. Telling her how much I loved her. Making sure she felt cherished. Having her know how much I cared. And now she is alone up there in that operating room, and I'm not even sure she knows how much she means to me," tears now spilling from his big blue eyes.

"I think she knows Don. The way she spoke on the radio, she knows."

"God I hope so." Don closed his eyes to blink away the tears and then turned to Mac. "You have to let me know when she is out of surgery. I need to see her, to tell her everything, even if she isn't awake."

"Hawkes will let us know as soon as he hears anything, but we will have to check with your doctor before you go anywhere." Mac could see the protest building in Flack. "What I mean is we have to coordinate it, so you don't piss these nice people off any further."

Flack winced as he tried to relax back into the bed.

"Yeah, and I thought you were 'fine.' That was your status report, remember? Then I hear the call that you're on a bus of your very own headed to the ER. Wanna explain that?"

"I knew if I told you I was busted up you would try and make me leave. Little did we know that was impossible anyhow." Flack replied with his typical sarcasm.

"You are right I suppose on both accounts, but I still don't like being lied to. You have three broken ribs and a concussion, Don. Hell, you were unconscious up there I know it. I didn't save you from one bomb to have the next one do you in." Mac stated in mock anger.

"Point taken."

"I'm just glad you're OK and that you found Stella. Right know you need to rest. Did the doctor say how long they were going to keep you?"

"Overnight because I passed out. Otherwise, the ribs didn't puncture anything that they know of, so I just have to take it easy and let them heal."

"Stella won't be out of surgery for sometime, so get some shuteye and I'll be here if you need anything."

"Thanks Mac. Promise me you'll wake when we she's out."

"I promise."

* * *

BTW - You guys see the awesome Fall Promos for the show..looks good...so does CSI...can't wait!


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry this took so long guys. Stupid life, gets in the way of everything. This is a bit short compared to my others, but I wanted to get something out there.

Disclaimer: I, of course, do not own any of the characters of CSI:NY.

* * *

A few hours passed as Don rested and Stella made her way out of surgery and into the surgical ICU. Finally, when the doctor gave him the OK, Mac went and woke Flack.

"Don, wake up."

"Mm, huh?"

"Don, Stella is out of surgery. The Doc says you can see her."

"How is she Mac, what did he say?"

"They still don't know much. She made it through the surgery just fine. They have her in the ICU, so they can monitor her until she wakes up." Mac's voice trailed off.

"You mean 'if' she wakes up."

"No Don, I mean when. Stella is extremely strong willed as you and I know all too well. She'll fight her way through this. And from what I heard earlier today, it sounds like she has a lot to live for. She needs you now Don. She needs us all."

"I just need to see her. I know if I see her…" Don struggled to find the words.

"I know…Lets get you into a wheelchair."

* * *

There she was. Hooked up to every monitor known to man, tubes everywhere, machines beeping left and right, but she was there, heart still beating. Flack was right, once he saw her, once her being alive was real again, he knew she could pull through. She had to. He had so much love that he wanted to give her.

Mac positioned Flack's wheelchair beside her bed and left to let them be alone. He told Flack he was going to check in with Stella's doctor and he would return in a bit.

Flack sat there with Stella in silence for quite a while. Her heart monitor just kept beeping its slow and constant rhythm, reassuring Flack with every noise that Stella was still alive.

She looked so fragile lying there in the hospital bed. It broke his heart to see her like this. He swore to himself after Frankie, that he would do everything in his power to keep Stella from being hurt again. He had failed, but all he could wish for was to be given a chance to make it up to her.

For now, all he could do was hold her hand and love her.

"Stella, it's me, Don. I'm sorry I couldn't get to you faster. I'm sorry I wasn't with you when… We should have searched the floors together. Maybe I could have stopped him. Maybe…," tears again streamed down his face and the words lodged in his throat.

"I love you so much Stella. You just can't leave me now. We haven't even begun. I want to wake up beside you everyday and fall asleep with you in my arms every night. I want you to know, to truly know, what it feels like to be loved. I want to give that to you, but Stell, you gotta wake up. You gotta open your eyes. I need you to do that for me. I need you Stell…," and despite the pain in his chest he leaned in and kissed her hand as his tears fell.

Mac returned a little while later to find Don just where he left him, holding Stella's hand.

"Don, they are going to do some tests now, so we need to let them do their job. You need to rest some more too. They said they would find us when the results are in."

Don turned his head to Mac and nodded. He leaned down and kissed her hand one more time. Quietly he whispered, "Remember Stella, I love you."

* * *

By the time they returned to Don's room, they were well into the wee hours of the morning. So much had happened so quickly that night. Flack and Mac both rested while the other team members rotated in and out. Through the morning they alternated between coffee runs and having someone sit with Stella as long as the ICU staff allowed. By midday Flack was released, but didn't go far.

Danny had gone to Don's apartment and packed some sweats and toiletries, knowing his friend had no intention of actually leaving the hospital until Stella was at the very least awake. And though the sight of Flack in is hospital gown amused Danny, he knew Flack wouldn't tolerate it much longer. The clothes that Flack had been wearing were bagged as evidence, so they certainly weren't an option either.

Before Don checked out of his room completely, Danny helped him shower and get cleaned up. He was still filthy from the blast and the blood from the evening before. But once all that was accomplished, Flack never left Stella's side save for a few minutes at a time.

Her test results came back and after a translation by Hawkes, Stella's prognosis was looking up just the slightest bit. Brain activity was good; it should just be a matter of time before she wakes up. Hawkes explained that her body was working on repairing itself and when it was ready she would come to.

When the term "cautiously optimistic" was used by the doctor, Mac actually smiled a bit.

"What's that look for Mac?" Don asked.

"Those are the exact words the Doctor used after your run in with a bomb. Let's just hope we get the same results this time."

And with Don sounding resolute for the first time since they reached the hospital he said, "I know we will, Mac. I just know it."

* * *

Might be a little while until the next chapter...stay with me...


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